I laugh out loud when i can.
I apologize when i should,
and let go of what i can't change.
I play hard.
I forgive quickly.
I take chances when they come.
I give everything,
and have no regrets.
Life's too short to be anything…but happy.. =)
Whoaaaaaa! Gile lama I didn’t blog kan. But; ade ke org perasan if I blog or didn’t? haha! maybe the followers might perasan. (ceh,perasan la ko ni Aina. =P). Well, maybe time cuti2 je la kot I can spend time blogging or if ive something that I wanna share or if I couldn’t find any way to release everything; all the thoughts that is locked inside me… right now, dah start cuti. There goes my part 6 bachelor degree of accountancy… how time flies kan. Cepat gile rs sem nie. All I can say; generally im academically unstable; even if other people seen it otherwise. I know myself better than anyone does. Mentally; very very very challenging. Love & friendship. Two things that totally had tremendous effect on me this semester. Tu yg mcm terumbang ambing mcm Titanic. Luckily I manage not to sink in the deep blue Atlantic ocean. Even if it does occur, I’ll die. Coz aku tak pandai berenang. LOL. Enough merepek-ing aina.
It’s 3am in the Friday morning. I just watched a Japanese series (baru masuk second cd kot.) My dearest sis, Farahana lent it to me before cuti. I still rmmber how cute she was when she gave the cds to me;with her little payung. It was raining heavily masa last paper MAF tu. I was so dumb. Lupe I shudve waited for her after exam tu. But I drove straight nak balik then suddenly she texted me. Then I was on my way to get out of uitm. I said I wait for u at Seroja la dear. Sorry for troubling you.. n sorry I didn’t get to hug you & Rauda & Lina masa balik tu. And also, tak jumpe my yayang NUR! Isk2. IN FACT, ramai yg I tak sempat jumpe. Ntah nape la nak rush sgt. Maybe I wanna get out of the exam atmosphere as soon as I could coz this finals had been a devastating onessssssssss for me. *sigh. Each and every paper. I don’t have confidence on all my papers for finals. except for French. Ntah. Even Bel. I screwed all my presentations. But honestly, I always knew I could’ve done better with my presentations. I blame myself sbb lack of preparation sbb tak fell in love with the topics that was assigned; PLUS, I think puan shud let us choose the topic. Our own. Coz I think kalau kite suke one topic tu, we wud present and explain by heart; with higher enthusiasm n more honest. How to say eh? Mcm more truthful and nak hafal pun tak la susah sgt sbb kite happy nak present. Unlike mcm buat2 terpaksa suka and fell in love with the topic. Mcm contoh mine was hyporthermia. Im so not into Science thingy sejak azali lg. nk present kat depan tergagap gagap. Every single word that came out from my mouth; aku sndiri blur. Apetah lagi audience. Second one was worst. I really thought I wanna buckle up. But I didn’t. If I were to choose the topics I wud like to have Amber’s Alert & GuantanamoBay. But hey, no one cud’ve done better than Nad & Esah’s. Bravo girls! I totally envy you girls pny. *wink! =)
Enough bout Bel. I admit BEL cam pressure me dis sem. Coz no FINAL assessments for that. The good memories that I had selama belajar Bel ni; ade dua je. My PADINI presentation & workplace pny screen play “Hey Gorgeous!” with dalia, afan & ohm. That was the best! No one could ever forget Mimi aka Jaafar. Haha! then what else ya? Hmm… couldn’t think.mostly theory paper this sem. FAR.. dun take the topics for granted. Ethics was my favourite. Maybe sbb lecturer. She made me fell in love with the subject. However, the final question wasn’t that comprehensive like we thought. Afiq Shebby says,” asyik2 tanya yg same, cube letak topic lain jgk. Kite bukan blajar satu bende je”. LOL. Betul la. I totally agree. Habes dah vocab aku nk goreng jawab benda same. I didn’t do well for ethics final. Really hope that my carrymark can support coz I wanna A so badly for this subject, Dr Haslinda. =)
Okay enough bout academic. Life was tough for me back then. It reminds me back to the old days; the hardship of dividing between time to work & play. Seriously, byk I spend time on PLAY this sem.. I went out a lot. Sorry. And im so damn focused on unnecessary things where I was supposed to be studying.layan perasaan. (*very jiwang la aina this sem!) And byk jugak tidur. Sleep is essential. =P but I got to carried away with the nikmat tido. Haha. right in the middle of those difficulties, things happened. God tested me on how much I appreciate the meaning of friendship. Im not sure whether I should disclose it here. … I don’t think I can. Coz anything I do wudnt change anything. But all I can say, tak penah terdetik langsung kat hati aku nk buat mcm tu. I wud do anything in the world to turn back time; but that just impossible. So I guess let just God decide what’s best for us and I would accept. Thinking of it makes me sad. So, shoooohhhhhhh!
“People come and go; but some leave footprints in our heart.”
Yes, he left a footprint in my heart. Sape sangka, it only began as a friendship just because I’m-a-techno-fool-forever. Haha. then we both get carried away and IT came. We appreciated and cherished what we had that time. And I don’t know why I fell in IT. I didn’t supposed to fell. I wasn’t supposed to jump off from the cliff. all I should have done was stood still. And I was just supposed to be his friend& companion coz he said im an easy person to talk to. Yeah,I get that all the time. Tp feelings cannot be forced kan. I did fell in IT. We both did actually, for once. But at some point, we both realized. IT wasn’t supposed to happen. IT wasn’t right. Tak betul, salah and totally ethically wrong. I don’t wanna hurt myself anymore.yes. It does sound selfish. But I have all the right and solid reason in the world to be selfish. Then IT had come to END, at last. IT was a short, temporary & brief happiness for me to experience; since him. I didn’t shed a tear in front of him when it happened. (go Aina!) but before I slept, I cried out loud;inside. But my roommate knew; and I told her, “just let me cry tonight, so that I’ll wake up tmr, there’ll be no reason for to cry anymore.” That was just about it. It hurt me bad. But I was prepared from the beginning. Dats why I was stronger when facing it coz I expected it earlier; sooner or later I kena face jgk bende ni. Big girls don’t cry;and im one now. =)
That was just about it. Ade lg bende yg nak cite but im so sleepy right now. I’m gonna be away for the next few days. Im off to Bandung & Jakarta with Mama and my cousin, kak Nani. Yeay! Cant wait. *wink. I was told by someone who’s very dear to me to leave and buang all my troubles and sorrows kat sane nnt. Hehe. I will. Kena cari port sesuai nak buang. LOL. And im gonna meet my bestest friend, Syifa whos currently studying kat sane.yeayyyyyyyyyyy! lepas tu, gonna spend my raya haji in Kelantan with my granny. Then ade KARAOKE date with Zahiril Adzim pastu 1 december start practical! OMG!!! Gonna be such a hectic but fun week for me. Whoaaaaaaa! Okay, till then. Hope can jumpe my Adit kat Jakarta. Who knows he might wanna take me to see Eiffel in Paris! Heee~~ Daaa~~ =)
But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs.
All your time is hold back for your friends and family.
You are always there for people in trouble.
Ready for any emergency.
You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human.
But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny.
Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls.
You will have your own problems in your life.
Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it.
People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you.
Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others .
Not everyone is created this way...
You are unique and rare! =)
p.s- take note, i got this from a quiz that i did on Facebook..it kinda makes me feel better about myself. and whenever i feel down, i think by reading this might help me right? :)
There are times;when u wanna be in bed so badly. dont wanna get up.unless quiz or test or scary and frightening lecturer waiting for u for morning class. These will have the capability to urge to get us up in a way. But sometimes.even ade quiz or test pun.we wish we cud stay in bed so dat we can avoid that so dat we wont have to face bad result sbb nite before tu tak study properly or even tertido. Dats just an example. Besides that, maybe u don’t wanna wake up sbb xnak face someone dat u want to avoid coz its just too hard.damn hard.
There are times—you don’t wanna dress up nor make up. just nk kuar ‘nakedly’. I mean not la naked as if tak pakai baju or what, its just in other words, malas nk bersiap pkai baju cantik, no need compaq powder, eye liner or lip gloss. Only the natural look. Simple and proper attire. Peduli ar ape org nk ckp asal kite happy n selesa cara mcm tu.
There are times when u just wanna stay home;I mean with family. Esp when u are so connected with ur love ones.damn close. Like for me, im addicted to the twinnies. Its like I wanna stay home.so dat they wud come by everday.and I can witness their progress. If im away,im gonna miss all that…. Weekends pun tak sure balik. I admit since duduk rumah sewa, almost every weekend I balik. I tried hard to balik jgk. Its just me. Its like a motivation for me, to go through weekdays, with a thought bear in mind ,”Aina, chill. Friday ni, balik rumah,” dats the thing that always keep me stronger… then mesti ade yg ckp, ala, umah dkat pun kecoh. I wont say a word back. Coz org yg ckp mcm tu takkan faham ape yg kite rs. For me, family is important. Papa & mama. I love them so much. Balik rumah pun even kejap, I can regain back my energy dat was wasted through the week. So dat evrytime I got back on Sunday night, it’s like a new me. And bad things that happened weekdays before that, I boleh lupe and move on coz I share every updates with my parents mostly. My dad usuall will come up something fr another perspective in way to handle my problems. Thanks papa.
There are times when u wanna feel numb. Especially when u re in deep pain or devastating situation.. like I am right now. I feel so stupid about myself right now. Precious time wasted just because of someone. Im trying so hard to avoid that someone but he kept coming. Shit. I guess my bad.im the one who’s being so mentally & emotionally weak.
There are times like u wanna scream. Let out everything. But we hold it back, afraid dat others might think that we are crazy.
There are times when you re down, u want someone to motivate u.just a simple word, kindness that will boost ur determination even if its just a short SMS or a call…I used to have that someone that’s capable to motivate me. But I don’t think I can rely on him anymore coz I’ll end up broken-hearted again. For sure.
Well, at the end, despite all great, wonderful, bad, terrible things happened, its God ,the Almighty Allah SWT that we should turn to.. We pray and He’ll listen. And He’ll decide what’s best for us. Keep having faith in Him, and then we’ll be just fine living through life meaningfully. I’m quoting from my sister’s blog that really struck me :
"when everything else seems to fall apart and you have no one else to turn to, you should actually remember that ALLAH is actually always there for you right from the beginning. Can anyone please tell me, where can you find such attention? People are too arrogant and they felt that they can stand on their own two feet despite trials and tribulations."
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been. Never been able to fly.
I asked for Strength... And God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
Iasked for Wisdom... And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity... And God gave me a Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage….. And God gave me obstacles to overcome.
I asked for Love... And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors... And God gave me Opportunities.
“I received nothing I wanted... But I received everything I needed."
