my anatomy.not grey's.

It's not always rainbows and butterflies.

2010-11-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

Yes, i miss you.

Can i say it out loud?

NO. i just couldn't.

i just have to keep it to myself from now.

aina, please dont.

or else the history will repeat itself.

i dont want that to happen. ever.

am i going to lose you?

if yes, then tell. so that i'll learn to move on.

day by day.alone.like i used to.

before you came.

then, do i have the chance to keep you?

like i always want to?

seems like theres no certain answer.

time doesnt fly fast when i'm expecting it to be

days grew longer.nights grew colder.

all i want is....

everything to be just fine...

like YOU always told me ...

it's sad because you didn't.

i miss YOU so badly til it hurts..still.

Until the Time is Through

2009-11-20T09:06:00.000-08:00

Whoaaaaaa! Gile lama I didn’t blog kan. But; ade ke org perasan if I blog or didn’t? haha! maybe the followers might perasan. (ceh,perasan la ko ni Aina. =P). Well, maybe time cuti2 je la kot I can spend time blogging or if ive something that I wanna share or if I couldn’t find any way to release everything; all the thoughts that is locked inside me… right now, dah start cuti. There goes my part 6 bachelor degree of accountancy… how time flies kan. Cepat gile rs sem nie. All I can say; generally im academically unstable; even if other people seen it otherwise. I know myself better than anyone does. Mentally; very very very challenging. Love & friendship. Two things that totally had tremendous effect on me this semester. Tu yg mcm terumbang ambing mcm Titanic. Luckily I manage not to sink in the deep blue Atlantic ocean. Even if it does occur, I’ll die. Coz aku tak pandai berenang. LOL. Enough merepek-ing aina.

It’s 3am in the Friday morning. I just watched a Japanese series (baru masuk second cd kot.) My dearest sis, Farahana lent it to me before cuti. I still rmmber how cute she was when she gave the cds to me;with her little payung. It was raining heavily masa last paper MAF tu. I was so dumb. Lupe I shudve waited for her after exam tu. But I drove straight nak balik then suddenly she texted me. Then I was on my way to get out of uitm. I said I wait for u at Seroja la dear. Sorry for troubling you.. n sorry I didn’t get to hug you & Rauda & Lina masa balik tu. And also, tak jumpe my yayang NUR! Isk2. IN FACT, ramai yg I tak sempat jumpe. Ntah nape la nak rush sgt. Maybe I wanna get out of the exam atmosphere as soon as I could coz this finals had been a devastating onessssssssss for me. *sigh. Each and every paper. I don’t have confidence on all my papers for finals. except for French. Ntah. Even Bel. I screwed all my presentations. But honestly, I always knew I could’ve done better with my presentations. I blame myself sbb lack of preparation sbb tak fell in love with the topics that was assigned; PLUS, I think puan shud let us choose the topic. Our own. Coz I think kalau kite suke one topic tu, we wud present and explain by heart; with higher enthusiasm n more honest. How to say eh? Mcm more truthful and nak hafal pun tak la susah sgt sbb kite happy nak present. Unlike mcm buat2 terpaksa suka and fell in love with the topic. Mcm contoh mine was hyporthermia. Im so not into Science thingy sejak azali lg. nk present kat depan tergagap gagap. Every single word that came out from my mouth; aku sndiri blur. Apetah lagi audience. Second one was worst. I really thought I wanna buckle up. But I didn’t. If I were to choose the topics I wud like to have Amber’s Alert & Guantanamo Bay. But hey, no one cud’ve done better than Nad & Esah’s. Bravo girls! I totally envy you girls pny. *wink! =)

Enough bout Bel. I admit BEL cam pressure me dis sem. Coz no FINAL assessments for that. The good memories that I had selama belajar Bel ni; ade dua je. My PADINI presentation & workplace pny screen play “Hey Gorgeous!” with dalia, afan & ohm. That was the best! No one could ever forget Mimi aka Jaafar. Haha! then what else ya? Hmm… couldn’t think.mostly theory paper this sem. FAR.. dun take the topics for granted. Ethics was my favourite. Maybe sbb lecturer. She made me fell in love with the subject. However, the final question wasn’t that comprehensive like we thought. Afiq Shebby says,” asyik2 tanya yg same, cube letak topic lain jgk. Kite bukan blajar satu bende je”. LOL. Betul la. I totally agree. Habes dah vocab aku nk goreng jawab benda same. I didn’t do well for ethics final. Really hope that my carrymark can support coz I wanna A so badly for this subject, Dr Haslinda. =)

Okay enough bout academic. Life was tough for me back then. It reminds me back to the old days; the hardship of dividing between time to work & play. Seriously, byk I spend time on PLAY this sem.. I went out a lot. Sorry. And im so damn focused on unnecessary things where I was supposed to be studying.layan perasaan. (*very jiwang la aina this sem!) And byk jugak tidur. Sleep is essential. =P but I got to carried away with the nikmat tido. Haha. right in the middle of those difficulties, things happened. God tested me on how much I appreciate the meaning of friendship. Im not sure whether I should disclose it here. … I don’t think I can. Coz anything I do wudnt change anything. But all I can say, tak penah terdetik langsung kat hati aku nk buat mcm tu. I wud do anything in the world to turn back time; but that just impossible. So I guess let just God decide what’s best for us and I would accept. Thinking of it makes me sad. So, shoooohhhhhhh!

“People come and go; but some leave footprints in our heart.”

Yes, he left a footprint in my heart. Sape sangka, it only began as a friendship just because I’m-a-techno-fool-forever. Haha. then we both get carried away and IT came. We appreciated and cherished what we had that time. And I don’t know why I fell in IT. I didn’t supposed to fell. I wasn’t supposed to jump off from the cliff. all I should have done was stood still. And I was just supposed to be his friend & companion coz he said im an easy person to talk to. Yeah,I get that all the time. Tp feelings cannot be forced kan. I did fell in IT. We both did actually, for once. But at some point, we both realized. IT wasn’t supposed to happen. IT wasn’t right. Tak betul, salah and totally ethically wrong. I don’t wanna hurt myself anymore.yes. It does sound selfish. But I have all the right and solid reason in the world to be selfish. Then IT had come to END, at last. IT was a short, temporary & brief happiness for me to experience; since him. I didn’t shed a tear in front of him when it happened. (go Aina!) but before I slept, I cried out loud;inside. But my roommate knew; and I told her, “just let me cry tonight, so that I’ll wake up tmr, there’ll be no reason for to cry anymore.” That was just about it. It hurt me bad. But I was prepared from the beginning. Dats why I was stronger when facing it coz I expected it earlier; sooner or later I kena face jgk bende ni. Big girls don’t cry;and im one now. =)

That was just about it. Ade lg bende yg nak cite but im so sleepy right now. I’m gonna be away for the next few days. Im off to Bandung & Jakarta with Mama and my cousin, kak Nani. Yeay! Cant wait. *wink. I was told by someone who’s very dear to me to leave and buang all my troubles and sorrows kat sane nnt. Hehe. I will. Kena cari port sesuai nak buang. LOL. And im gonna meet my bestest friend, Syifa whos currently studying kat sane.yeayyyyyyyyyyy! lepas tu, gonna spend my raya haji in Kelantan with my granny. Then ade KARAOKE date with Zahiril Adzim pastu 1 december start practical! OMG!!! Gonna be such a hectic but fun week for me. Whoaaaaaaa! Okay, till then. Hope can jumpe my Adit kat Jakarta. Who knows he might wanna take me to see Eiffel in Paris! Heee~~ Daaa~~ =)

The Sweetest Thing.

2009-07-07T04:58:00.000-07:00

From dolphin,with love.

Pride and Prejudice

2009-07-04T12:58:00.000-07:00

You are lovely and caring.

You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy.

Your life aim might be to serve the people.

But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs.

All your time is hold back for your friends and family.

You are always there for people in trouble.

Ready for any emergency.

You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human.

But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny.

Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls.

You will have your own problems in your life.

Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it.

People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you.

Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others .

Not everyone is created this way...

You are unique and rare! =)

p.s- take note, i got this from a quiz that i did on Facebook..it kinda makes me feel better about myself. and whenever i feel down, i think by reading this might help me right? :)

So long MJ...

2009-07-04T12:09:00.000-07:00

You are not alone

For I am here with you

Though you're far away

I am here to stay

For you are not alone

For I am here with you

Though we're far apart

You're always in my heart...

Times like These

2009-07-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

There are times;when u wanna be in bed so badly. dont wanna get up.unless quiz or test or scary and frightening lecturer waiting for u for morning class. These will have the capability to urge to get us up in a way. But sometimes.even ade quiz or test pun.we wish we cud stay in bed so dat we can avoid that so dat we wont have to face bad result sbb nite before tu tak study properly or even tertido. Dats just an example. Besides that, maybe u don’t wanna wake up sbb xnak face someone dat u want to avoid coz its just too hard.damn hard.

There are times—you don’t wanna dress up nor make up. just nk kuar ‘nakedly’. I mean not la naked as if tak pakai baju or what, its just in other words, malas nk bersiap pkai baju cantik, no need compaq powder, eye liner or lip gloss. Only the natural look. Simple and proper attire. Peduli ar ape org nk ckp asal kite happy n selesa cara mcm tu.

There are times when u just wanna stay home;I mean with family. Esp when u are so connected with ur love ones.damn close. Like for me, im addicted to the twinnies. Its like I wanna stay home.so dat they wud come by everday.and I can witness their progress. If im away,im gonna miss all that…. Weekends pun tak sure balik. I admit since duduk rumah sewa, almost every weekend I balik. I tried hard to balik jgk. Its just me. Its like a motivation for me, to go through weekdays, with a thought bear in mind ,”Aina, chill. Friday ni, balik rumah,” dats the thing that always keep me stronger… then mesti ade yg ckp, ala, umah dkat pun kecoh. I wont say a word back. Coz org yg ckp mcm tu takkan faham ape yg kite rs. For me, family is important. Papa & mama. I love them so much. Balik rumah pun even kejap, I can regain back my energy dat was wasted through the week. So dat evrytime I got back on Sunday night, it’s like a new me. And bad things that happened weekdays before that, I boleh lupe and move on coz I share every updates with my parents mostly. My dad usuall will come up something fr another perspective in way to handle my problems. Thanks papa.

There are times when u wanna feel numb. Especially when u re in deep pain or devastating situation.. like I am right now. I feel so stupid about myself right now. Precious time wasted just because of someone. Im trying so hard to avoid that someone but he kept coming. Shit. I guess my bad.im the one who’s being so mentally & emotionally weak.

There are times like u wanna scream. Let out everything. But we hold it back, afraid dat others might think that we are crazy.

There are times when you re down, u want someone to motivate u.just a simple word, kindness that will boost ur determination even if its just a short SMS or a call…I used to have that someone that’s capable to motivate me. But I don’t think I can rely on him anymore coz I’ll end up broken-hearted again. For sure.

Well, at the end, despite all great, wonderful, bad, terrible things happened, its God ,the Almighty Allah SWT that we should turn to.. We pray and He’ll listen. And He’ll decide what’s best for us. Keep having faith in Him, and then we’ll be just fine living through life meaningfully. I’m quoting from my sister’s blog that really struck me :

"when everything else seems to fall apart and you have no one else to turn to, you should actually remember that ALLAH is actually always there for you right from the beginning. Can anyone please tell me, where can you find such attention? People are too arrogant and they felt that they can stand on their own two feet despite trials and tribulations."

Butterfly Kisses.

2009-06-07T10:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life.

If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles,
it would cripple us.
We would not be as strong as we could have been.
Never been able to fly.

I asked for Strength...
And God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

Iasked for Wisdom...
And God gave me Problems to solve.

I asked for Prosperity...
And God gave me a Brain and Brawn to work.

I asked for Courage…..
And God gave me obstacles to overcome.

I asked for Love...
And God gave me Troubled people to help.

I asked for Favors...
And God gave me Opportunities.

“I received nothing I wanted...
But I received everything I needed."

Breathe Again.

2009-05-28T19:14:00.000-07:00

Heya people!

Correction about exam result. it's gonna be 11th june i suppose. hehe. so,it's not gonna be out dat soon like i told u in my previous post.

Pick a +ve Thought.

2009-05-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

Most of the things you worry so much about
would never happen if they were left alone.

Yet by your persistent focus on them, you greatly
increase their likelihood. It is wise to be concerned
and to take actions that will address those concerns.

Yet it is foolish to simply worry, day after day,
until that worry is soon manifest into something real.

Each day you fill your mind with thousands of thoughts.
Those thoughts have much power because they influence
every little thing you do, and those little things quickly add up.

So rather than filling your mind with worrisome thoughts,
fill it with positive, enthusiastic,
loving and life-affirming ones.
Then, rather than letting the power of your thoughts
push you down, those thoughts will be lifting you up.

The next time you find yourself with a worry or anxiety,
think of it as a pebble in your hand. Simply let go of it,
let it drop naturally, effortlessly to the ground,
and continue on your way.
Then pick a positive, enriching thought to take its place.

p.s-thanks MRM for posting this to ur note in FB. cant help it to include it in my blog. hope u dont mind. :)

the clowns turn 4 this year.

2009-05-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

From left: Alia Shahirah (adik) & Alisa Syakirah (kakak).

.

2009-05-23T08:50:00.001-07:00

10 Things I Love about You.

1. For almost 3years knowing her inside out, I admire her strength and courage going through life. No one can ever beat that.

2. Funny. Her jokes are so damn lawak okay. I can gelak tak ingat dunia when I’m with her everyday. She has high level of creative-mind-thinking.

3. She’s not a hypocrite. She’s not good in hiding her true feelings.. hehe! I always knew. It always shows without her realizing it. That’s just her.

4. A good listener. Damn good one. I share everything with her. Yes, I mean EVERYTHING.

5. Honesty. She’s the kind of person that practice honesty in everything she does especially when it comes to friendship. I don’t know about you but, that’s what hard to find nowadays, for me.

6. She used to have the ambition to be a lawyer… But now, she has set a new one… And babe, that profession totally suits you okayy! =)

7. Caffeine+nasi putih+tomyam ayam+telur bungkus. Especially at Amin’s Thai. We both can’t resist that! Nyum2.

8. Music. She and I share mostly the same interest in music. She’ll always recommend me the songs where I’ll end up listening for zillion of times all over again and stuck with ‘em and we might do karaoke session in the car together. Hihi. And yeah, that includes the unforgettable love songs of all-time-favourite and evergreens like Mariah’s, Celine’s etc. Oh, of course I love your singing babe!~ Hehe.

9. I love her family. Her mummy’s cooking are SUPERB k. Sometimes, I join her lepak-ing at her Bangah’s crib. Kak Ija is nice and I always had pleasant time with her. Satu kepala la. Hehe. Mimik & Dodo did great job in brighten up our days! Thanks Bangah for few rides after classes in your awesome car and also frequent treats from you. Not forgetting, her lawyer-sis, kak indah. We used to hangout together at Kedai Kopi. Thanks for the treat sis! =) And her beloved second brother who is out at sea working for MISC. I won’t forget; he drove us both to the school for MUET. Hope in future I can meet her Along and Kak Lang… Insyallah. May Allah bless this wonderful family.

10. Patience being with me. Thanks dear. I know sometimes when I’m not being myself, act stupid or when there was a time I was being hated, you were there. And hell yeah, I was wrong. But you stayed with me, guiding and motivating me to change. To be a better person. And I’ve learned a lot from you, Miss Siti Nur Hidayah Abdul Razak. =)

Foolish Senses

2009-05-23T08:38:00.000-07:00

Heya ppl! It’s been a while I didn’t update my blog kan? Sorry. There were so many things going on. With classes, finals, assignments etc. Well, I’m a student. I gotta do what I’m supposed to do kan. Currently, im in my 3rd week of semester break. Finally can tarik nafas dalam2. haha. Mind my rojak writing okay! Lol. I’m gonna start off with 5 random things that are wandering in my head right now.. I’m not gonna write about the review on finals. Coz it will remind me on how bad I performed for most of the papers. But, I did enjoy reading Justice’s review. I think most of them reflected most of us, generally I supposed. So, I’m not gonna assess on that.hehe. Lets start off with me worrying about stuffs…well, some of ‘em might be stupid. But hey,its my blog. Suke hati aku la. =P

1. The Outcome of my Bachelor Degree of Accounting (part 5).
Not until the other day, Mr President texted me. At 1st we talked about usual random stuffs. AFTAS thingy was put on hold coz he will tell me the next day. He told me the shocking and dreadful news. “Aina, exam result kuar 5june.” And I was like,,,,,,”WHAT???? GILE CEPAT!!!” oh noo.. The “worrying-too-much syndrome” strikes me suddenly. I was about to sleep at 4am. He texted me at 5am or sumthing. As a result, I tak boleh tido. Suddenly risau, anxious gile! It’s like a slap on my face that tells me to be prepared, mentally especially. I always get this if I tell anyone that I risau. “Ala, aina. Takyah risau la. You ok pny. “Okay, I appreciate ur thought of wanting to make me feel better. But only God knows how I did for the finals. If I get good result, Alhamdulillah.. I call that as my rezeki+tawakal n redha. But if it doesn’t, well, I guess all my mental preparation I did before the exam is out, would be useful la.. And I regard it as the rezeki is not on my side this time…SO, coursemates dearest, good luck and all the best yeah! J

2. Bedtime Crisis.
Yeah, I have crisis with my bedtime. Gosh. Sleep at 4am. Wake up at 6.30 for Subuh. Then tgk MTV or even MHI until 10am. Gile kan. Pastu I tido until lunch. I’ll get up coz my sister is at home and she has been sick for few days. I take the job to cook lunch so that she won’t miss any medication that she’s supposed to prescribe. With proper guidance and motivation from my beloved Mama, at least everything that I cook can eat la kan. Oh, afiq, no more cincai this time. Aha! Not forgetting, I have dark circles around me eyes and its getting worse day by day. Sooo terrible! Come to think about it, the solid and the most concrete reason why it happen is because due to my improper behaviour during finals. I took caffeine yg slalu tak effective. Yeah. I always fell asleep accompanied by the notes on my face. Trust me. Time mcm tu la nk ngntuk. Skang tak pulak. Sengal! I heard that caffeine sometimes will be effective after 2weeks u drank it. Well, I guess im experience it now! Lol. So, advice to all people. Jgn minum Nescafe bile esok nak exam.minum 2weeks BEFORE exam itu okay. =p

3. Practical Training?
Ha…coursemates, hav u decided where korg nak practical nnt? To be honest, I don’t know yet… but I hav to decide coz En. Rashid had reminded us to search n collect contacts from the companies that we are interested to do practical during this cuti jgk kan... gosh. All this time, I’m not targeting to do practical in big firms..it’s probably im not ready yet to face the high pressure kot. Yela, big firms, tau2 je la kan.. I probably look for medium-size audit firms.. and ive to consider my mom. She told me to choose yg dekat2. adoi. That will of course limit my option kan.mcm impossible je.. Well, I think I’ll manage it nnt.. but for now I think i ve to prepare curricular vitae or resume,in case they want it kan... Wee~

4. How to be a good daughter-in-law?
Just we were about to go nuts studying, Siti Hajar Anuar and I talked about ‘stuffs’.hehe. One of ‘em ,as stated above. Cooking is one of the basic and important element to be a good wife. We both came up with things that kite, anak2 dara should know how to cook. Here there are: (p.s. the first 5 are most essential girls!)

1. curry
2. masak lemak cilia pi
3. asam pedas
4. soup
5. masak merah,kicap
6. tomyam
7. sweet sour
8. steam
9. kurma
10. singgang

5. Alisa is here. :)
There was one of my older posts in this blog that I wrote about the reason why I’m addicted to go home apart from missing my family. They are my cousin twins which I love sooo damn much. Since now cuti, I’m seeing them everyday, which I look forward the most. Layan-ing them, just takes my troubles away… they turned 4 last 12th May. They are funny, talkative as well. Love to dance & sing. Their favourite tracks : bapakku pulang dari kota, air pasar malam (its supposed to be air pasang dalam kan?haha), nenek2 si bongkok tiga..and they both are big fans of Mila AF. Gosh.. kuat betul pengaruh that petite singer. Alisa is here>> yeah,die tido sini. Her mom came to pick her up. But she just sat on the couch while her sister, Alia dah gelabah gonjeng kat pintu to greet her mom. And I was pelik. I asked her, “kakak, nak tido sini ke?” I repeated the same question twice. And she nodded her head twice as well. Haha! Well, this is her… my little miss sunshine,Alisa Syakirah. [I don’t have any clue where the hell she got the idea to pose like that.!its like her eye is going to pop out!]

“An ear to hear n listen, and even lend a shoulder if you want to…”

2009-05-23T08:16:00.000-07:00

Oh, Aina just realized something. I should be grateful and thankful… Such a beautiful, nice and caring person to say such meaningful and sincere words to me... Words just can’t describe how much I appreciate and love her… I know she’s always there… she always remind me that I can turn to her whenever I need someone… and that will always bear in my mind… Don’t all of you realize that sometimes, even though we are close to someone, there are certain things that we can’t share and we will always find and know that there will be other person that understands more than the person that we are close to; and then we will turn up to them because we are 200% sure that the other person understands more… So here it goes…I’m going to share with all of you about this other person…the “one & only”.

Things happened for a reason. Or in other words, setiap benda yg jadi, ade hikmahnye. Of course, most of us realize that kan. I always knew her. By the name je la, of course. N tak penah bertegur pun. I think paling2 pun, senyum je kot. Haha. Cant remember it quite well what was our state of condition before I got the “real chance” knowing her. Haha. I always knew her as she was one of the top students in the class and she’s in a group yg sume girls. Huhu. Dat was just about it. Maybe sbb different class kot. Well, that was me back then. I rarely mix with other classes except for my-forever-and-always-be-roomates, and now, housemates>siti,hajar & fizah. Huhu. Until the first time doing intersession during part II diploma. I got the chance to be in the same class with her. Coz time tu, ketua program yg tetapkan kelas. So, can’t do anything bout it. I think ikut alphabetical order. Dats why we ended being in the same class. Ms kat kelas tu, I kinda feel awkward in a way. Ye la, kena separate dgn my classmates sume except that I was always with Lina (yes, our Miss Vice President of AFTAS). Nasib baik la. At least I have her. Siap jadi sebelah bilik lgi kot. Hehe. Lina! Do u still remember that incident kat cerun ms kat pagar kenanga tu? Omg. Don’t u ever remind me babe!. Thank God you were there. Thank God kite balik sama dat day. Lets just keep it as our secret okay. Huhu!

Okay2. Back to the story. Mase kat kelas tu, xckp sgt dgn die. Coz I think most of her gang satu kelas dgn die. And 1 thing about them, they are always cheerful and energetic everyday!! Yg sgt semangat punye. Hehe. Not offence, but that was the first time being with them, I was actually shocked at first coz they can really laugh out loud. Haha. But then, as time goes by, I’m used to it and sometimes its kinda funny to see them laugh. And there was certain point that I hope that I can be part of them, laughing out loud together with them. Sgt meriah. Hehe. So, that was the starting that we both know each other and also, I got the chance to know her other friends in the group. And oh, there’s a connection between us that had lead us to a conversation and another. Her best friend masa sekolah turned out to be my school friend jgk. Coz her bestfriend transferred to my school. And also, we discovered that her bestfriend and i used to be in the same class in primary skool!! Haha. Funny kan. What a small world.ngee~

Since lepas intersession tu, we say hi to each other whenever we jmpe kat faculty. It’s kinda nice coz my circle of friends was expanded.haha. And not forgetting, the whole group of hers. Well, that went well..until when I was in last semester of diploma. Melati College decided that it was the right time for me to be separated from hajar n fizah. Before tu, they took away siti. Then, it was my turn. It was hard at first. Being in a new room with new people… but it end up being a totally different… way way far than I expected it to be. And guess what, she’s one of my new roommates. Huhu! I still remembered, the first day register college, she texted me, saying hi to her new roommate. So I guessed it wasn’t a bad start la kan. She got my number from my other roommate who happened to be my closest classmate, Farahana. How thoughtful and sweet of her kan.. and not forgetting miss didi! *Didi! I miss you! ~

SO, that’s when my new life, together with her begins. Her bed is next to mine… in other words, the first person on my left dat I see each and every morning when I wake up is her… but most of the time, bile I bgn, die dah bgn, fully dressed n are ready to go to class.haha. in other words, she’s always the winner when it comes to the competition kat dlm bilik. Girls, u knoe what it is! Hehe. Pertandingan Sape Cepat. Sape cepat bangun, mandi, basuh baju, etc. Gosh, I miss Melati college…thanks Melati for giving me tempat berteduh for 2 years of diploma. Jasamu dikenang. Hehe. And thanks to Melati also, I dpt sebilik dgn die. :)

During the first few weeks I admit that I was having problems adjusting to new environment with the new room, new roommates, new semester, and new pressure of new semester. ooh, that;s for sure la kan. Everyone experienced that! So, most of the time, I slalu takde kat bilik. I would be in Siti’s room. Or hajar and fizah’s. or dahlia’s.or even nazlin’s. haha. teruk betul g lepak bilik org.. Sorry roommates! :)

….the END….FIN….

Well, that’s just about it.. I think there’s no more left for me to tell about everything beneath the ‘veil’… its because anything I say or do will not be able to express my highest gratitude towards God who had given me the chance to know her… She is Nur Latifah Arif Shah…

For the happy times we shared,
For your shoulder for me to cry on,
For the love that u showered me with,
For the times when I needed you the most,
I know you’ll always there…
And for that, I love you.
Thanks for everything…

(_)

2009-04-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

“Move on, Aina. You deserve someone much much better…”

People keep telling me that I’m strong enough to say goodbye to all the things that happened to me so far… at some certain point of time, I’m quite confident with myself that I can face all these with no fear… I know that I’ll face all the obstacles in life gracefully and try to be as independent as I could… but when it comes in dealing this particular ‘yesterday’… all of sudden, I’ll become mentally weak. And I don’t know why the significant confidence level (there goes my managerial economics term.*sigh) that I have built will tend to fall… I hate when I’m in that state of condition. It’s when I’ll be in bed the whole day, I won’t eat nor would drink, and most of all the probability of me skipping classes will definitely be higher. Need some sort of space but, in a weird way. Kinda pathetic you think? Yeah, I have to admit it is pathetic. Well, ‘yesterday’ was not actually considered yesterday.. A year had passed… without me realizing how smooth the time flies... I’m in my own path of life… and all I can say is, it has been great so far but of course there’s ups and downs la kan… but praise to Almighty Allah… He helped me through a lot… and I’m grateful to be surrounded by my love ones (you know who you are, ppl!)…

Here Without You...

2009-04-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

I’m here without you baby,
But you still on my lonely mind…
I think about you baby,
And I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby…
But you still with me in my dreams…

I just can’t help myself… I kept playing this track from 3 doors down for the past 1hour. I’m in my room, lying in my comfy bed...(of course in Shah Alam, don’t ask.) actually I was supposed to take a short nap. But due to the ice-blended-cappuccino-treat by my sweet little Siti Hajar Anuar, I can’t force myself to enjoy at least a half hour of quality nap.. *aiyoo*. Instead, I took out my earphone and the first song that came out after I touched ‘shuffle’, was this song. Here without you by 3 doors down.. it used to be my favourite song mase sekolah..omg. it was quite a hit la that time. And as time goes by, dah lama la tak dgr this song until today.. The lyrics above can at least reflect me in for now…

my mind's rather reckless ...

2009-04-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

hey ppl, sorry dah lama tak post anything...been busy. tired.mentally.damn.finals coming! wish me luck.. just wanna share with all of you..really love this song..a peaceful one for an ear to listen..

Flightless Bird, American Mouth
Iron & Wine

I was a quick wet boy, diving too deep for coins
All of your street light eyes wide on my plastic toys
Then when the cops closed the fair, I cut my long baby hair
Stole me a dog-eared map and called for you everywhere

Have I found you
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping or lost you, american mouth
Big pill looming

Now I'm a fat house cat
Nursing my sore blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats curl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold
And clean blood of Christ mountain stream

Have I found you Flightless bird, grounded, bleeding or lost you, american mouth
Big pill stuck going down

real friends.

2009-01-28T15:30:00.000-08:00

Real friends are there no matter the weather,
They enjoy just being together
They can sit for hours discussing their dreams,
Or laugh hysterically over practically nothing it seems.
They don’t care if you have brand new clothes or a fancy car,
They love you unconditionally, just the way you are.
While they may not agree with everything you do,
They are there to support and not judge you.
They are not just a fair weather friend,
But a loyal companion on whom you can depend.
Thank you for being that kind of friend.

A note to you.

2008-12-23T08:03:00.000-08:00

Hey,

It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday..for me,it does.

I might have failed, but i have loved you from the start...

The more i wish that i want to believe,the more painful it is..

Sincerely,
Aina.

Merry Xmas !

2008-12-17T11:36:00.000-08:00

haha.this wud probably came from a twilight freak! huhu~

Edward Cullen

2008-12-17T11:12:00.001-08:00

Mr Edward Cullen, cant get you outta my head.. Thanks to a day i spent with Sarah, Eleza, & a guy who love WHITE..haha. u noe who you are! The movie was great.! few days before, i kept receiving feedbacks "Aina! serious s*** u have to watch twilight""weyh,twilight best gile!".

i ve to stop all these..then,i called for reservations,since i hate to beratur; it was full for the next 3days! gile weyh!i'm the one who suggested we watched twilight.sarah and i was thrilled!! except for eleza n mr white guy. who knew nothing bout it. but for sure eleza knew one thing;antoo fighter! omg. sorry babe. any local vampire cudnt beat 'the Cold Ones'.hehe~ok back to the day, after mr white guy picked us all up, we headed to mid. jalan main belasah je la. haha.eleza said it was a "SHORTCUT".yeah.then smpai,we had to queue la. we managed to get the forth seat from below kat tepi. ok la.not bad. the movie was at 2pm.so we went for bowling.yup! thats right! bowling. =p then, Nando's for lunch. we arrived about 10 mins before the show started and plus, 15mins for the commercials.lol.then... i took out my specs, not wanting to leave any detail..i let the vampires scent a lil bit of our bloods for the next 120 minutes..

Graduated,finally.

2008-12-17T11:02:00.000-08:00

Finally, yes, i graduated for my 2years Diploma in Accountancy. But,deep inside,there’s one thing that made me disappointed. Not to say that i ain't grateful for what i had achieved. it's just sometimes,the thoughts come and go.. So, im deciding to let it go. for good. hence, i'm gonna tell you..here it goes..

For my last semester of diploma, I didn’t manage to get AD.. actually, I wasn’t frustrated at first considering my lack of motivation to study after law paper. Yeah,sorry LAW. I’ve to put the blame on you.The law paper was crazy ok. Korg bygkan pertama kali dlm hidup, I went out of the dewan after the exam, I felt like the sky is on top me. Ya Allah.only He knows. I tak sempat jwb the last 2questions. That consist …erm.tgk markah dier pun aku dh lupe. 300marks kot. I spent too much time answering the 1st question.i didn’t managed time wisely. N bile the pengawas said it’s about time.i gelabah.i panicked. And my hand was shaking.i cudnt write anything. The sad thing was, I had scribble acts,cases all over the question. But then, my hand was shaking. Mcm Parkinson. Isk2. then all I remembered was I put down my pen. N my tears start falling. N I didn’t wrote anything..except for “YES or NO ..she @ he is liable”.ohhh..see..until now I still cant imagine how the hell I did go through that. After that, all I wanna do was scream out loud.but I have to tahan. Then bile hantar paper, I just went out. And straight pegi kat beg.n tears mcm flood. Falling through my face. Dh la takde tissue. Adoi. Then nur was there.. she was the 1st person who noticed me.. thanks syg. N I hugged her for few moments.. then there were few friends there..i cant remember..maybe dorg terkejut kot my condition that time.macm org gile..

Then,there was dalia.she came out of nowhere. She hugged me.n I cried. All out…then farahana n rauda join the group hug.haha..n that was it.i mcm nk pengsan k.. btw,I can be considered as strong among my friends.but that day was my point of breakdown,I guess…then..all the way sampai parking lot..we walked together..me n dalia..hand in hand.not forgetting with farah and zhaffan..n I was still crying in the car. Malu gile weyh.kat afan.adoi.but lantak la. The tears just couldn’t stop…then afan decided we shud go out.. lepas antar farah, we drove thru McD.. we had sundae,I bought fillet for dinner(which I had it in 1am) n headed to tasik… dalia n afan did all the talking..thanks lovebirds..aku takkan lupe..

And oh,you must be wondering what’s the result kan? B.with a minus.Alhamdulillah..

One in a million.

2008-12-17T09:24:00.000-08:00

I didnt online last night. So i was completely clueless about the sad news posted by a senior thru friendster buletin.. My Form 3 bhs Melayu teacher, Pn Hajah Abesah passed away on 15th dec morning.. i didnt noe why it happend.. I'm sorry for everything i've done wrong,cikgu.. Semoga roh cikgu ditempatkan di kalangan orang2 yg soleh..amin.

Bella Luna

2008-12-17T09:22:00.000-08:00

May I suggest you get the best
For nothing less than you and I

Let's take a chance as this romance
is rising over before we lose the lighting..

Do any of you knoe this song?I’m stuck with it now. Bella Luna by Jason Mraz. Thanks to a good friend of mine. A guy who got magnificent taste in music, I must admit. I requested for other Jason Mraz’s track from him. But, he recommended this song to me last week and I have been listening to it ever since. Trust me, u should explore and go through the lyrics. Meaningful and very well written. Jason Mraz has never disappointed me. Thanks dude! hehe. He’s always the best. He expressed his feelings towards the girl she loves sincerely from heart by describing the girl he had fallen for in a most decent and honest way... Don’t care if u labeled me as jiwang ke. Haha. It’s just me who loves to appreciate beautiful music like this. Okla. Signing off now. Wishing someone who could write a song to me like this.. Aina Luna.. hmm..anyone?

It takes two.Definitely.

2008-12-17T09:10:00.000-08:00

From left: Alisa,Shah & Alia. [yeah,i can tell which one's which.haha]
Congratulations to my cousin bro,Jack & Ariana. i'll pray that u'll get cute babies! hehe

Alia Syahirah & Alisa Syakirah. Yeah,that’s their name. They are my sweethearts. Arent they adorable? They are the reason why I’m always back home for the weekend. I miss both of them so much, apart from my family of course. They are the most loveable, funniest, cutest creature on earth I must say. Haha! They are born on 12th May 2005. kalau tak salah la. Hehe. That year I was in form 5. It’s the first time for our family, on my mom’s side to have twins. Yeah, since we dun have twins’ genetic. It came from my uncle though. The twin’s mummy is my mom’s sister. Wanna know what they call me ? ‘Kak Na’ in such a funny way. Haha. This is their latest pics in beautiful new dress.. I have tons of vids n pics of them. And oh, stuck in the middle is Amer Shah, kak long’s son. Well, since kak long,me and the twins are cousins, the twins are Amer Shah’s aunties.haha! This pic was taken during my cousin,Jack and Ariana’s wedding. Congratulations on your wedding. Ariana,welcome to our family!~

No Matter What

2008-12-17T09:07:00.000-08:00

Life is hard..tough..hurm.. Aina being 20 is going to expire in January ppl!(aiyoh..tua already issit?) But yet..dun think I’m behaving like one. Haha. Mcm budak2 pun ade sometimes... hey,girls just wanna have fun! Rite? Ok, here’s the serious part.. I’m in 4th part of the degree. Weird huh? Well,ask me. Then I’ll go babble to u about what FASTRACKERS do ok?haha. Insyallah in January will be in part 5..cant wait actly. My brain dh beku. Perhaps need to start to melt it with inputs. haha.poyo jer.Hurm..dunno why. Maybe I have gained all the fight-and-redeem energy mase cuti kot.haha.. hhmm.. I have few goals that I want to achieve in 10years’ time..i already put ‘em on a list.hopefully I can achieve all of it.. Please pray for me ya.. n there was once in a time.. I look up to one person..somewhere back few years ago..sgt kagum dgn dia.. all he did was plan and set goals,like we do..n yes.so far,he achieved all those today.. he was a friend. a good friend of mine.. It feels like I’ve known him all my life…and we promised each other that we’ll keep this beautiful friendship forever.no matter what happens. i hope he still remembers it like I do. We treasured and appreciate this friendship too much.. Thanks for everything..I would never trade it with anything.never. Dun worry,I’ll pray for you always and may u find happiness in life... InsyaAllah..

Quack quack quack!

2008-12-17T09:05:00.000-08:00

Still cant sleep..it’s almost 3.20am.. dunno why, I suddenly miss my school days.. miss my bestfriend yg paling jauh..syifa.. dier kat Bandung.. “Bibik.cpat balik ya.! “Hehe.if only I cud turn back time.. I would love to go back to 2003. that was the bestest year.3dedikasi.haha. I still remember korg kena jalan itik the whole block.lalu kelas seniors.haha. aku tak kena! It started with pn.aiza suddenly check our laporan amali sains. Ntuh nape. The night before, I semangat update my laporan.but then ade yg tertinggal skeyt. Then bile my book kena check, dier just cubit je. Coz sikit je yg dier tak puas hati. Tp cubit dier..omg.lebam jgk la.biru dowh!haha. then majority of the class tak siap. Then she suruh sume yg tak siap jalan itik. Yang kena cubit stay. Hahahahaha!!! I remembered only me,ammar n mukhesh je kot yg tak kena. Yg lain sume kena. Hahahahah.yg tak bleh blah.lalu kelas seniors form 5.all the way tu kelas dorg. Plus,bilik seni n LK. Hhaha.lucky me I didn’t kena. Hehe.jatuh la saham korg.hihi…well.that was back then…

FIRST YEAR in UiTM : It's too late to apologize?

2008-12-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

It was back then.. When I used to be confused between friendship n love, trust, honesty.. etc.. nah..confuse is not the right word..it’s much more..cluesless.yeah.that’s the word.clueless when handling & differentiate between love n friendship..I didn’t care much about friends..but only him..all i used to care about is only his feelings..not theirs..i noe it’s stupid..well,that was aina who’s STUPID.Just imagine, if during weekends, sometimes my friends will ajak me keluar..but, I always refused to go coz u noe, couples always have plans kn? Lg2 if they don’t get to see each other everyday. So, mcm rindu ar. Rindula konon. =p

After he’s gone, I felt so guilty coz I didn’t spend much time with my friends. I sacrifice almost of my play time just for him. Yea la I divided my time equally between work n play..then when it comes to dating, there’ll be cash outflows [adei.poyo la.kata amek akaun haha!] kn? I didn’t get any scholarship. So pepaham la..the financial supports comes fr where kn?from mama n papa.. I still felt guilty until now coz I save a large portion of my spending just to go out with him.. I’m not saying dat he didn’t kuarkan duit langsung but yela..give n take la kn. Xkn die je slalu nk kuar duit rite. Hmm..besides dating, topup evry month pun bertambh.. instead of rm30 papa gave me to topup, kena tmbh lagi duit sendiri coz gayut evrynite.sms-ing.helo,dulu mane ade supersavers lg. enuff bout dat. Kesimpulannya,pandai2 budget la kan. That’s one thing I learn.. if u budget well, u’ll survive la.plus, mintak ampun mama.papa.

Ok, that was back then.. now, Alhamdulillah I have my friends n I didn’t lose them.. tgk,despite of my perangai teruk neglecting them dulu, there were there for me.. aku sayang korang sgt.. u gurls were there during the hard times,especially.. org kata, I quoted fr the orangss..rakan gembira senang dicari,rakan sedih sgt sukar ditemui..see..i also tahu la peribahasa melayu.hajar! dun feel like ure reading mat saleh’s blog eh.i used as many malay words as I can.eh.pehal hajar masuk line plak.=p

Sometimes I feel like I byk susahkan my friends.. there was once.. I cried at 3am sbb dat guy then i called her. She was still studying dat time.then she told me to me her outside the room then we sat at the tangga..i cried out at her..with my small mr.pillow on my face. n she kept telling me evrythings gonna be ok…bayangkn, time tu final exam..n I kacau her study time..n yeah.it turned out to be ok.. thanks dear.She’s INTAN DAHLIA AHMAD KAMAL… I love you. You were my bestfriend. And I’m hoping you still are,dear..

Besides that,bile part3,I got a new habit that I developed.. Asal kuar bilik g mane2 je, I will go n knock my neighbour’s room.mesti leen,siti,myda n izni bengang kn?hehe..sorry babes!well, I’ll go in sumtimes without knocking [aih..anak dara apa ni. sgt rude.]..then go baring2 at their katils…then I’ll go bebel la..sorry ya.. gurls, u can have my comfy bed if i balek umah weekend.haha!

Besides my friends in UiTM, I have best girlfriends when I was in secondary.. Gengku. There were 9 of us. Aina, Ain, Syifa, Sarah, Mai, Melly, Eleza, Honey & Fatin.. I’m sooorry girls.. Sarah, u did struck me the other day.. Seriously. I feel so damn bad about it…. Damn.

So,that was wayyy back then. Tutup buku. Now I realized that I’m the kind of person who appreciates friendship more.. If the snobby mr Gollum ,bende precious dier was the ring that Frodo Baggins had, well..aina’s precious is—2Fs.. FRIENDS+FAMILY=HAPPY-NESS. No matter what or who you are.. at the end of the day..u’ll always have ur family n friends by ur side..i noe now’s cuti,,but u tatau ke telephone-they both work in 2ways lar! Wink~

Let the Memories Begin..

2008-12-17T08:29:00.000-08:00

Hye people! Nuraina Annuar;that's my name. but just call me Aina. Currently studying in UiTM Shah Alam. Mostly my life has always been in KL. This is where I was born, raised until now…Well,I already had this blog account long time ago..but I didn’t have the time until now... I guess blogging is a gud way to share, explore and getting to know each other more right. To be able to know ‘the other side’ of a person.. Hope u’ll enjoy reading a lil bit about myself coping with life so far.. Thanks for your time and never hesitate to leave your comment ayte! Oh, hope you don’t mind I’m using both bahasa n English language [or I might use some French. lol]. Sometimes certain words I cudnt think. It’s like stuck in my head somewhere but it couldn’t come out.. Au Revoir~ =)

love story

2008-10-27T23:59:00.000-07:00

This is a cute love story-
Girl: Am I pretty?
Boy: No...
Girl: Do u want to live with me?
Boy: No...
Girl: Will u cry if I leave u?
Boy: No...
The girl starts to cry. The boy pulled her close to him and said… “You are not pretty, but prettiest, I don’t want to live with you, but I live 4 you, if u leave me, I wont cry but I die.."